Archive for 2015
When I know it has been too long
The LEAST Racist person IN THE WORLD!!!
I am of course referring to future president (of the world!) Donald Trump. The best president that ever lived ever. He "will be so good at the military, your head will spin." He "will be the greatest jobs president god ever created." Obviously his "IQ is one of the highest"... I bet £50 with A that he will be the republican nomination.
Actual Blog Content
London
Southampton
London
Liverpool 1 & 2
Surprise Parties. No.
Babies. No.
Other news
Mostly I've been working...
When the future happens
This month I've not had much time to write my bloggy-wog. I completed a few projects and started new ones. Work is infinite. It's interesting though in a weird way. Better (more autonomous) software improve work flows. More efficient work flows mean more work can be done (faster, by less skilled or even fewer workers). Obviously automation improves accuracy as there is much less space for human error. There has been a 5000% reduction in the identification of insulting board across the Cheshire area in the last 2 years. This has greatly improved the situation regarding hostile work environments as far fewer obscenities are hurled at inspectors from seemingly innocuous panels.
At times I've considered how this sort of thing can be used to replace governments with like a global autonomous system. The problem is, those with power want more power not less. They want to maintain all the unfairness in the world. They don't want to share. They want to be selfish. So no matter how amazing it would be. How it would free everyone from debt and unshackle us from this bizarre notion that money is wealth and wealth is happiness. It is improbable.
Meanwhile Earth enters extinction phase. I am unable to understand why things like that are actually happening and the capitalist governments refuse to do anything* about it. *except make the situation worse.
Next month I'm going to see Paul Foot again and my Dad is going to stay with us for a bit.
Then, after that, wife and I are going to see:
Clue: Jamaican fella selling bananas, no one wants any. N.D.
Meanwhile Earth enters extinction phase. I am unable to understand why things like that are actually happening and the capitalist governments refuse to do anything* about it. *except make the situation worse.
Next month I'm going to see Paul Foot again and my Dad is going to stay with us for a bit.
Then, after that, wife and I are going to see:
Clue: Jamaican fella selling bananas, no one wants any. N.D.
Tag :
work,
When I built a computer
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| Cola Related Failure |
This is what I got:
Micro Electronics require some co-ordination to assemble and I lack that but I have much determination and a good amount of patience. So when something didn't go right I tried again and again and again and again. I eventually did get it all put together pretty well. It's the tidiest pc build I've done and it booted up first time.
I won't bore you with the technical details. This isn't the first computer I've put together. I've been playing with the insides of electronics since I was 10. I remember unscrewing the broken* VHS player in 1996 convinced I was going to use the PCBs to create an advanced robot. *it may not have been when I started unscrewing it.
It was difficult doing it from a wheelchair. Not impossible.
I'm going to see Mr Paul Foot telling his jokes tomorrow night. It should be fun :)
Tag :
computers,
When you should vote
OAPs probably shouldn't.
16 year olds probably should.
The greens didn't make much progress. Sigh.
I'm going to try to move to Brighton obviously that's what people have done. UKIP got quite a few second places which is a bit sad. Who the f votes tory? Don't they know any disabled/vulnerable/ill/poor people? The terrible, selfish, and ignorant fools.
Soon they'll be unemployed it's inevitable.
Anyway
After I've voted for the green candidates and got home my door shut. D'artagnan had sneaked out and when he realised he had no food outside he came back to whinge and scratch at the door. He had to wait a few minutes because I was transferring into my inside chair. Then he came running in.
Tag :
#votegreen,
When I did a review
Before I get to KSP there has been some bullshit going on surrounding politics. Which sometimes I care about and sometimes I don't...
I think I need to stick to one topic and to post regularly. Maybe weekly, Like on Thursdays at 2am or something as arbitrary just so people know, Like at 11am on Friday rather than working they can be like "Hey I can read these observations about something a cripple wrote on the internets this morning because he posted them at 2am." Obviously I'll write the entries on the previous weekend. Oo new idea. So maybe I'll start to be less topical not that I am really but maybe more surreal. Does surreal comedy work on the internet?
Some say I tried that with Monkey News and the consensus of my coveted impressions graph was that it didn't work. However, to those sceptics I point to the following bullet points:
- It wasn't an original idea (Though it was thought up in a head shaped like a fucking orange)
- Monkey News isn't surreal it's just nonsense.
Alternatively I could write a (satirical) political blog from the perspective of someone who idolises Charlie Brooker, Jon Stewart, Trey Parker and Matt Stone, and fictional characters like Eli from The Good Wife. (Played by Alan Cumming)
Or there are alway loads of things I could say about games. A lot of people write and read about computer games. They used to be a big part of my life. I started uni to start a career in the gaming industry. I don't play them much now. Infact I had to decide if I was going to write this or play a game I found the other week on my Saturday afternoon.
So this week I'm going to leave this blog like a confused teenage girls blog but instead of a random review of some beauty product I'm going to write my first thoughts about:
Kerbal Space Program
https://kerbalspaceprogram.com
I saw this game on steam and my interest was piqued. A game where you get to manage a fictional peoples space program. Kerbals are cute and comical and they add elements of joy to a game. Something big blockbusters (GTA aside) don't really do. I can see why this fundamental design decision was made and it really works. It gives much more room for just silly details that make the game fun rather than confining the game to realism. It's a shame the gaming industry focussed on the realism of a machine gun ravaging a newly created corpse. Great work on the detailed physics of excess blood guys!
Oh a contradiction in my first paragraph. What a surprise. To be fair I did enjoy the story mode in the last COD Modern Warfare I played (even morally incomprehensible parts were justified within the story) but the senseless murderfest of multiplayer. What is that? It's like comparing a well made 18 film with hardcore pornography. The kids of today are destined to become violent sociopaths.
So I got KSP. Started it up and it began loading 'Discombobulating combobulator' was the text on the screen! Oh my, bullfrogesque humour!
Bullfrog made games in the late 80s and 90s like Themepark, Dungeon Keeper, Theme Hospital, and more. They were often filled with dry sarcasm, wit and well British humour.
So I noticed a 'Training' menu I thought it'll just be wasd (basic movement controls), camera controls and the usual and went straight to career mode. Immediately the depth of the game was obvious. I meandered through and actually managed to find the assembly building.
I thought it was a pretty obvious UI. I started putting bits together to build my first ship. It helped that I could only choose one type of capsule, one fuel tank, and two engines - one solid fuel and one liquid fuel(from tank). Importantly I noticed the parachute. The comical tooltips were one of the little details of joy. So I went to the launchpad (yes you get to fly your creations!) I activated what I thought was the first stage, it turns out the 0 stage is the last - not the first. So my stages were backward. The parachute was activated but didn't deploy because I wasn't moving so I didn't realise the perilous situation the courageous but slightly dim witted Bob Kerman was heading for. I tried pressing space again and smoke starts to come from the middle of my rocket. The UI shows I'm burning rocket fuel Bobs lucky the rocket didn't explode because I hadn't put the thrust up. I pressed space a few more times. Finally we had a very brief lift off! The parachute caused all sorts of chaos with the ascent. Mainly that if was to choose a firework to describe it I'd pick a Catherine Wheel that then explodes and leaves no survivors apologies to Bob Kerman's family his demise was entirely in vein the result of my own gross incompetence.
I quit back to the main menu and clicked training. Wow is it detailed it's like the equivalent to a gcse course. How the fuck can I remember what a periapsis and apoapsis is and when to burn prograde or retro and that's just the orbiting bit! So I did the first two training then played a bit to reinforce this new found entirely useless knowledge I had learned. Turns out there is science to be done in this game and there are commercial missions to help with acquisition of funds and science and reputation.
So the learning curve is massive, it's not super dumbed down though obviously simplified somewhat and I love it for that. They've got the balance right. It's not mindless but there are no maths equations. It's very much a long term game that I'll find as fun in 5 years as I do now playing a couple nights a week.
Note there are space planes, bases, asteroids, other planets etc. I've only just embarked on leading my Kerbals to infinity. What KSP lacks in accessibility it more than makes up for in depth.
There is science to be done.
In memory of:
Bob Kerman - We all learn from mistakes.
Neil Kerman - MIA presumed still in a capsule orbiting the sun.
Jebedia Kerman - Bravely opened the hatch of his capsule and ventured outside. Only to let go of the fucking ladder and is now stuck in orbit.
Bill Kerman - In a stable orbit of Kermin(home planet) while trying to reach the Mun because the fuel ran out.
Tag :
games,
When everything is ok
So we have finally applied for my wifes indefinite leave to remain. Last week. The most surprising things about this process have been:
The cost
It's not been cheap and the prices seem to double each year which brings me to:
The durations
Before you can apply for the ILR you now have to wait till you have lived in the UK (With appropriate visas) for 5 years. Luckily we could apply under the old rules (after the 2 year spousal visa)
It's not easy to be an immigrant (Unless within the EU) but why all the fuss? Why not let people live wherever they want?
We went to Southampton in February so my wifey could do the Life in the UK test. Which was a ridiculous test covering such important day to day knowledge like tudor infidelity, the importance of 4ft walls, the going rate for a dragon slaying during Arthurs fictitious rule, and the importance of the Welsh Assembly.
After she passed the test we went for dinner. We ate at pretty good Carribean place. Turtle Bay it was really good I'd recommend it.
conservativeLine breaks: con|ser¦va|tive
It's strange to me that anyone has right wing ideas. How can people justify it? "I earn £200k a week, and 50% tax is too much."
In other news I'm trying to finalise my ideas for a mobile game. I know for sure it wont be f2p (free to play). I loathe the constant nickle and diming (micro-transactions). Forcing gamers into endless real-world transactions is a literally gamebreaking mechanic.
The cost
It's not been cheap and the prices seem to double each year which brings me to:
The durations
Before you can apply for the ILR you now have to wait till you have lived in the UK (With appropriate visas) for 5 years. Luckily we could apply under the old rules (after the 2 year spousal visa)
It's not easy to be an immigrant (Unless within the EU) but why all the fuss? Why not let people live wherever they want?
We went to Southampton in February so my wifey could do the Life in the UK test. Which was a ridiculous test covering such important day to day knowledge like tudor infidelity, the importance of 4ft walls, the going rate for a dragon slaying during Arthurs fictitious rule, and the importance of the Welsh Assembly.
After she passed the test we went for dinner. We ate at pretty good Carribean place. Turtle Bay it was really good I'd recommend it.
conservativeLine breaks: con|ser¦va|tive
Pronunciation: /kənˈsəːvətɪv/
(Of a person, action, or motive) lacking consideration for other people; concerned chiefly with one’s own personal profit or pleasure:People vote conservative for selfish reasonsIt's strange to me that anyone has right wing ideas. How can people justify it? "I earn £200k a week, and 50% tax is too much."
In other news I'm trying to finalise my ideas for a mobile game. I know for sure it wont be f2p (free to play). I loathe the constant nickle and diming (micro-transactions). Forcing gamers into endless real-world transactions is a literally gamebreaking mechanic.
It's not fun, it breaks immersion, and annihilates flow.
For an idea of some games I did try: eg 1 and eg 2.
Questions I'm hardly ever asked:
Will the next game be zombie based. Probably. I am going for mass market appeal.
Will it feature voice acting. Probably. But not my voices since I no longer have any vocal range.
The conclusion of this entry:
Sorry about not posting more regularly but I work too hard!
For an idea of some games I did try: eg 1 and eg 2.
Questions I'm hardly ever asked:
Will the next game be zombie based. Probably. I am going for mass market appeal.
Will it feature voice acting. Probably. But not my voices since I no longer have any vocal range.
The conclusion of this entry:
Sorry about not posting more regularly but I work too hard!
When I was on Oxford Street
The UK recently shut down for a couple days then it sort of rolled and pressed the snooze button yesterday and now it's back operating at normal efficiency. Which in every meaningful and meaningless way of measuring is pretty in-efficient. The fuss about sales seems more subdued this year. That's just something I have noticed, it's not leading anywhere.
Before this period of meaningless meaning I found myself on Oxford Street. It needs sorting out.
Why isn't it pedestrianized? Why aren't all the tube stations accessible to wheelchairs? I was following my wife -who took point travelling towards Selfridges. However, I lost her when someone stepped between our two chairs. It's always fun travelling alone in a wheelchair. "Are you OK?","Are you lost?", "Are you waiting for someone?"
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| Artists Impression |
London is possibly the most uncaring city if you are outside. Inside a building everything changes. It's probably something to do with points. Obviously there are exceptions like people not from London, or more accurately either foreigners or people from the disenchanted North.
I kept heading somewhere but eventually I gave up and started to follow closely behind a street cleaner pushing a big flashing sucking water squirty thing that people moved out the way of.
Then I waited for about two hours for A. While I was waiting a guy with a skateboard began a discourse. About access and the common struggle we shared because he had a bit of wood with wheels on and I can't walk. Reading that back I sound petty and sarcastic. Our dialogue was nothing like that though. It's important so you understand the story that I tell you I was wearing a scarf in what I'd describe as a continental-european way. It wasn't loose it was sort of elaborately looped around and the ends passed through loops from underneath. It began with "Do you speak English?" That's why I mentioned the scarf. The scarf isn't featured anymore in this true tale. Then he talked about the skateboard catastrophe. He asked what I was doing I told him I was just waiting here for my wife then we were going to watch Paul Foot do a secret show.
He didn't know who he was so he pulled out a tablet and found some youtube videos. He enjoyed them and said bye.
The tickets cost twelve thousand and twelve points each. Which was quite worth it. Richard who worked there carried me up and down the stairs which was good of him. The show was a little longer than the 1.89 hours advertised and we almost missed the last train home but we made it. It was an excellent show despite being perched on the most uncomfortable chair I've ever had the discomfort of encountering. Often I was so absolutely entertained I forgot about the agony.
Happy next thirty-one billion, five hundred and thirty-five million, nine hundred and eighty four thousand, seven hundred and twenty six milliseconds.
