YesWheely

One of the things I hate about the internet is advertising. I use Adblock plus and what it does is save my sub-concious from a constant bombardment of adverts. Everyone should get an ad blocker.
Get Chrome, Get the extension ABP.

That is a bit of a tangential rant but it's kind of all about this. Advertising is part of so much in society. Music, Drama (TV and Movies) anyway I just don't like it. I don't have an alternative or anything.
I also dislike anything to do with investment.

I think the "success" of bitcoin will eventually bring the down fall of capitalism and end all the inequalities. No more buying low and selling high. That's not even a job. It is a game. I think games and distractions (arts, celebrities, etc) should exist definitely but they shouldn't separate haves and have nots. It's a house of cards!

Anyway. Malicious users, no doubt attempting to assimilate more hardware to serve their botnet to spam millions of email addresses with adverts for penis enlarging pills, decided to target the server that I control.
The problem is still not completely resolved.

Happy Birthday (last 5 mins) +Daniel Mills

Maybe next year I'll try writing blog entries that are more entertaining (read: sarcastic, sharp tongued)
but maybe I won't. I don't actually care about it.

It's all backwards.
Happy New Year.

Our tree that my wife decorated!



A snowball!
This is our second Christmas together and we had these cocktails last year too.
Totally unrelated to Nigella's trend setting declaration that snowballs are THE drink of the season.
They totally are though.
(Advocaat, Lemonade[Soda], Lime Cordial, Squirty Cream, and Shortcake crumbs)

The plan was to leave in the morning and catch a train at midday. The problem which is something the rail assistance can't fathom is that without a crystal ball predicted journey start times are a best guess. Especially for my wife who has CRPS which may cause delays of up to 12 hours. Before we met I would always be over an hour early so I was never on the train the assistance expected me to be on.

People who need assistance are supposed to call 24 hours in advance and give them specific times. I understand why and all that but it's simply not possible.

What needs to happen is the platforms need to all be a specific height and all the trains need to have a wheelchair carriage also at a specific height and with access similar to how the buses in London have automatic ramps come out when you press the blue button. So then independent wheelchair users can remain dependent on technology rather than having to depend on other humans.

And the staff should not have such attitudes because you are late/early/unexpected. They are getting paid all the same. Sometimes I want to get involved in Politics to change things but that's not actually what politicians do. It's why they start for sure, apparently. As it happened on this trip the assistance was all good...

So we arrived to the first train station just after 6pm. The train we wanted was delayed so we had to wait a bit longer than we did anyway because we were 8 hours late and our tickets were only valid on off-peak trains. We waited then took a train to Southampton. We had to collapse my wife's chair because there was only space for one chair.

We arrived and had to get onto a train to Birmingham. My wife's chair was reconstituted and the assistance helped us off. Unfortunately we had missed the last train to Birmingham from this station. The rail assistant guys were super helpful though and found a way we could get there by 3am! We took a train to London Waterloo. Then a taxi to London Euston. Then we caught the last train to Birmingham with 2 minutes to spare.

The assistance guy was also helpful at Birmingham and helped us get a taxi. We got to the Premier Inn and the guys at reception where both really helpful. One of them took my wife to the 24 hour McDonalds because we hadn't eaten all day.

A couple hours of sleep later it was time to get ready to go for the early dinner at Bodega my wife had booked. We were running a little late so my wife had to call and let them know we wouldn't make our reservation. They were okay about it and we propelled ourselves there. It was close and all down hill so it didn't take us long. Unfortunately it is not a wheelchair accessible place but the staff were accommodating and carried me up the stairs. It's pretty unfortunate that all the interesting places are not wheelchair accessible. Only the same old chains, that are the same wherever you are, are.

bodega
This was a really great restaurant the South American food was amazing. If the previous few days had been less hectic my appetite would have allowed me to eat more. The pulled beef was delicious. We shared Beef Nachos for a starter and shared Tacos and a Burrito for the main.

After we ate we took a taxi to the O2 to see Placebo. The restaurant staff helped the taxi driver fit the wheelchairs in. The driver was a bit poor for a job where customer interaction matters. He said: "I hope you have someone who is going to help at the when we arrive." So is he just going to dump us out and leave our disassembled wheelchairs in a pile. We arrived when there was still a huge queue. Luckily there was a policeman right there to help the taxi driver and we went in.

The support act. TOY

As you can see the view from the "disabled" section wasn't that great. The show was good though.

The restaurant at the hotel was closed when we got back which was a shame because they had a picture of a burger on the sign that looked amazing.

The next day we came back. We got home 7 hours after we left the hotel. A fun little break.

A bit of a forward
My wife is a really good cook (and baker). However, she has CRPS so to cook everyday is too much for her. Takeaway is not healthy to have 3 times a week, and getting restaurant food couriered is not affordable for us. Unfortunately I can't cook at all. I used to be able to. It's just not safe. So to make it easier for us we decided to try meals-on-wheels. What follows is a partial review...

Delivery
There was a knock on the door at midday. My wife let the guy in. He brought us a hot meal, a hot desert, a sandwich (of sorts) and a slice of cake(pre packed).

What shocked me was the fact this stuff was not produced in the local area. It was not fresh food. I'm not a qualified dietician or scientist. I'm not just taking issue with this for the nutritious value though. The cost.

It makes no sense to manufacture something 200 miles away in a different country (of sorts) and to then transport it and store it until it is heated and delivered.

There is little evidence to suggest mass produced frozen food to be nutritionally poor. There are too many businesses making money (producing, transporting, making freezers and cookers) for that sort of data to be freely available.

The hot meal
The idea is that you eat the 327 kcal meal and desert when it arrives and have the 311kcal sandwich and cake for your evening meal.

Actual food too depressing to show

Calorie (kcal) average for a day should be 2000 for women and 2500 for men. Yeah I haven't got the wrapper for the cake bar or the details of the desert because I didn't eat it. It was apricot cake in industrial custard. So it may well have met the kcal for the day assuming a 1000 kcal breakfast materialised before me when I woke up. This is pretty funny though: The 'meal' is  manufactured by http://www.tilleryvalley.com/ (in Wales) on their site they say "Our in house dietitians ensure our varied menus deliver on nutrition, as well as taste."

Industrial is a good word to describe the meal. It tasted industrial. I admit after the Hairy Bikers Meals On Wheels four part series on BBC2 in 2011 I had too high of an expectation. I wrongly thought people who ran these things would all realise how backwards the processes they are using are. Maybe they didn't see it.
Processed food isn't saving any money.
I'll get to the financial aspect after the.

Cheese and butter sandwich
This tasted al-right it was just insubstantial. Genuine cheddar cheese and genuine butter. The roll wasn't fresh and may have been full of junk but it tasted fine. One assumes the bread and/or butter was made as far away as Australia since the cheese is specifically advertised as British.

The thing about this is the ridiculousness. The Ginsters brand is established. A mass produced product 'of Cornwall'. Or so it seemed. On the back it says "Produced in Leicestershire". That's weird, I thought.

Logical

The Cost
Portsmouth City Council are withdrawing their subsidisation of £2 something leaving service users to pay £6.50 a day. £2.50 for the sandwich and cake and £4.00 for the hot meal and desert. The meals are delivered by volunteers so no complaints there. The front line workers are, unsurprisingly, the only positive thing. The meal and desert is probably under £1 worth of junk and there are much better and more substantial lunch time offers on the high street in a profitable market. Obviously trucking shit all over the country is driving the price up.

Meals On Wheels should not operate as a profitable organisation. I have no evidence on the contrary. However, the processed food suppliers and the suppliers of logistics like transport and storage are businesses all about profit. Privatisation is the problem. Capitalism is the problem. Stupidity is the problem.

Let's avoid the politics. Privatisation vs Nationalisation. Meals on wheels is supposed to help the vulnerable and those unable. Maybe if the quality was improved they could operate a two tier pricing structure. So if social services refers you it's just above cost and otherwise to subscribe it'll cost a little more. Make it a good enough quality product so that people can choose it.

Vulnerable people shouldn't have to endure it.

It's basic business stuff. The product is terrible, therefore customers should leave. We will be buying more ready meals from the store which is the same shit it just costs less. What about the people who can't do that and are stuck with the meals-on-wheels?

Even if a less ambitious model is used. The quality could easily rise with virtually no increase in cost surely. Portion sizes could even increase!

Healthy takeout? Why hasn't that market been tapped?
Humus and Baked Potatoes and Soups and... All freshly made. All delivered. I'll write a business plan. After I've got my cloning machine built.

I read this article: http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2013/11/28/neil-barnfather_n_4339609.html

Before I even get to that...
Disabled is a word and words have more than one meaning, definition, use, etc.
If I had no wheelchair, I don't mean being able to walk -I mean being physically retarded in the way that I am and having no wheelchair, I would encourage the term. For example, take last week, when I fell out my chair onto the bags I was attempting to carry... I was Disabled. Then I was helped back into my chair and I could move again. Society labels me as disabled but really I'm a wheelchair user.

As everyone with some sort of disability (I don't have an issue with that word - I think my problem is with words with more than one meaning) knows that accessibility is not universal. I'm happy with grab rails. I can transfer without them usually because my arms aren't weak so for me the accessible rooms at most hotel chains in the UK are adequate. However, many people will have disabilities requiring other aids. While searching for an abode the phrase 'Disabled features' kept appearing. The phrase means nothing to me, except maybe all the hinges have been welded so the doors don't open. (That's silly -swinging doors aren't a feature.) Another keyword: Accessible? Rejoice there is a doorway or at least a portal.

I don't care how stupid people sound when they talk. I sound retarded when I talk, like a drunk village idiot. Talking is about being understood. Words are ambiguous.
The R word. Just like the N word. Unless you are one it's offensive.

About the article. I'm assuming this guy said many more things about how charities and society treat those with a disability. However, the article author needs to  be replaced. It could have been interesting and instead it was childish. Maybe intentionally so. Sub-consciously. We need a transcript. Let's ignore the nonsense about crabs.
Yeah I agree with that.

I haven't got much more to say really. Yeah the unemployment figures do show the level of prejudice but it's not just like that for people with a disability. If you've never experienced this sort of prejudice JobCentres will provide the same sort of condescension for the able bodied.

Earlier this week a social worker came to see us.
She asked 'what's your employment status?' I say 'full time employed' she ticks unemployed.
A while later she asks something and the answer makes it obvious she misheard/didn't listen/assumed so she casually tuns to page one to fix her mistake. Why do these people who don't care about helping people have publicly paid for jobs where they are supposed to help people? Just like the people who work at the JobCentre!
She asked 'what would make you happier?' I couldn't answer that. Which is probably because apart from having my dissability and living in a capitalist society I'm pretty happy.

I may present a white paper "Life without Taxes". Hopefully then we can have a referendum.

I have a dream... It won't be about cashing cheques. There is no money in my dream.

This is not going to be the drivel I promised. Neither will the next entry since I've got more pressing issues. Unfortunately there are no images or animations because I'm overworked and underpaid. So you will have to use your imaginations when reading this. Most of my wife's('?) stories have a back story, traditionally just as long(/detailed) as the story, this story also has a beginning that starts before the story began...

At an unknown date in our past(I forgot when) we got a letter through the door inviting us to an action group, meeting, [I just remembered it was called a Focus Group] to focus on anti social tenants. I remember not being interested (because I am an Englishman). However, my wife really wanted to attend and have her voice heard. The nearest meeting was scheduled to be in Southampton (the next city to us) so not too bad. A nice day trip for her.

It wasn't that simple. The letter said call this number ***** and ask to speak to the ASFG team to let us know which meeting you can come to. Obviously, probably intentionally, the number that was printed was wrong. After annoying a receptionist with pointless calls ('Hi, can I speak to a member of the ASFG team?' "This is a solicitors") I realised the number was different to the one in the header my wife called the housing association. The Public sector worker who answered the call also had no idea what my wife wanted.

Eventually she got to speak to the guy running the meetings. The meeting in Southampton was cancelled due to lack of interest which meant the nearest meeting would be in Bournemouth which isn't too far but it is not a simple journey and my wife would have to travel to Bournemouth the day before so that she wouldn't be in too much pain from her CRPS.

So we both planned to go. I bought the train tickets and the night in a hotel.

That's it for the back story well at least the immediate one. The reason my wife wanted to go is actually a different story.

We left our flat a little late but it was okay. Unfortunately my wife's understanding of travelling light was not the same as say the hand luggage size of any budget airliner. So I had her large bag balanced on my lap with the shoulder strap around my neck (this was an error) and on top of that I had my bag also with the strap around my neck. So I had limited vision.

The sun was out though it had rained earlier and there was quite a nasty cold wind. We got to the high street and then it started to rain. The train station is at the end of this street so I thought we would get there just a little wet.

Then it really got hard luckily we reached shelter. Then it got really hard and because of the strong winds horizontal so we loitered in a shop. Now cold and wet. My wife decided this was an omen and now didn't want to go. I thought maybe if we go a bit further and reach a coffee shop we can get warm and then take a taxi or continue to the train station.

So we continue a little down the pedestrianised street. "Go in front of me so you can go under the ledge too." I said that as the moisture on my foot rest got between the metal and my shoe causing my foot to slip backwards. Causing my shoe to flick off and my foot to rub on the floor which caused my leg to change angle. Which caused the baggage to slide which started to pull my neck down and forwards which started to shift the weight distribution on my chair which started to tip forwards. For a second I thought "I've got this." Then I realised there was no way. I shouted to my wife as I fell on top of the bags. Face down, ass up. Unfortunately she missed another of my mishaps. As I lay there in this really bizarre position my face buried in the bags and the icy wind on my now exposed lower back two guys came to assist me. "Do you want some help?".

We got to the coffee shop but that was now another omen so we abandoned the plans (and the booked and paid for tickets and hotel!)

My last entry, I feel, was unfair to Wales because as it happens every county has the same local criteria. Which doesn't make too much sense since county councils are funded nationally. You must apply where you have a 'local connection' or where you work. To add to the nonsense I either have to involve a social worker or sign up to a website to swap council properties.

Social Housingety: The workshy, the neets and the failings of welfare.
That would be a good heading. A little too high brow for this blog. Maybe one day I'll write about that stuff. I have to rely on social housing -not completely because I earn a pittance. I could probably afford market rates for rent. I just cant find any accessible properties to rent. Hopefully I'll get help that wont result in me moving from one council estate to another council estate.

Why not just rent privately?
Private landlords probably wouldn't want to let to a disabled person because of all the 'hassle' of adapting the property. Also private landlords can just decide not to let a property which wouldn't be a huge problem if I was confident of being able to find properties to rent. If you know of any Bungalows for rent in North Wales. Please get in touch with me.

Why not take out a mortgage/rent to buy/etc?
My life expectancy means that I probably won't be around long enough to be a secure investment. I may try this route anyway. There are an unbelievable number of incompetent people in work.

Plans
I've mentioned before my plan to design a home. I read an article today about this (designing a garden city). Yesterday I read this(creating 3d worlds from old maps). I should be doing those sort of things. I need to finish my house design. I keep starting new things and not finishing things.

Next entry I plan to write about the ideas presented in this blog that I found interesting.

Last week I applied on-line to North Wales Housing. Unfortunately today I received a letter explaining why they are denying it.

"The guidance from the Welsh Assembly tells us that we should only retain on our list people who stand a realistic chance of being re-housed..."

The first 'reason' to deny my application reads: "You have insufficient connections with this locality."
Surely the fact Wales is piggybacking on the English economy is enough of a connection.

It's backwards enough that council houses (in the UK) are built using public money. Then for some reason (to create pointless jobs and to cut council jobs) the houses were sold (for as little as £1 each) to Housing Associations. Who charge tenants rent which is at least lower than private rent rates but still disproportionately high especially because most tenants in social housing are in receipt of housing benefit so it's a bit of a self fulfilling cycle of (typically British) pointlessness, tax payers money is wasted on bureaucracy. So the publicly paid for properties become stock lists that managers 'manage'... Is there a more pointless vocation than middle management?

Capitalism just doesn't work. Money is backwards. I live in a country of paper shufflers and morons.

Good day,
I was disappointed to receive a letter today explaining that you have decided not to pass my application 'through to the second stage'.

I would like to appeal to the Housing Support team regarding this decision and also offer some changes that you can update my application with.

Two reasons to deny my application I cannot fathom.

All of man came from one locale. My insufficient reasons for wanting to live in North Wales are as insufficient as anyone who is currently living in Wales. It's blatant racism. There is no place for intolerance in a civilised society. I hope that you can disregard the fact that the only connection to Wales I have is that I quite like Wales. There are areas of such natural beauty and I'd like to live somewhere I am proud to live in rather than another concrete jungle. What does the EU say about the Welsh Assembly's 'Guidance'?
As someone who works, pays NI, Income tax, Council tax, my full rent, and contributes to the economy surely any Welsh borough would be happy for me and my wife to be part of.

The second reason about living in a 'council' property and not being nominated by a council. We only reside in a Housing Association property because I can't find any private property that is suitable for a wheelchair user. It is not by choice. I challenge you to suggest a private agent that is able to rent properties to wheelchair users. For that reason I feel that this reason is unfairly discriminatory.

I can understand the reason that there are no properties available in the areas I have chosen. To be honest I would have selected areas anywhere in North Wales. Is it possible for you to send me a list of suitable 2 Bedroom single floor dwellings [bungalows]? If you could highlight areas that are most likely to accept my application.
Wheelchair accessible or modifiable.

Thank you.

--
Regards,
Steven

Well last week I had some stuff to say but what happened was, I poked my eye.  Not a bit, but with three fingers, I fisted my eye. I think a chunk of cornea came out. So I just lay on my sofa listening to the radio. It hurt to watch tv! I couldn't do my work or play GTA or my phone. So my to do list just kept getting added too. Oh yeah I banged my nose too because I tried to brush my teeth with my eyes closed and fell from my wheelchair into a corner. I didn't know it was visible till now since I didn't get a chance to look at it.

My lack of co-ordination is incredibly frustrating. I can't even explain.

Anyway my eye's all better now. I have a few things to do next week and quite a bit of work too. I am getting pretty bored with work at the moment. It's only because it's challenging that it has any of my interest. But the challenge is becoming less so. It's getting tedious; more and more trivial. It's pointless. The project is nearly done now. I think then I'll be working on a Hygiene thing which is pretty similar. More health and safety stuff.

I was in Starbucks getting some Frapuccinos to go which I wheeled all the way home only to spill half of mine all over the sofa. That was annoying. I do stuff like that often it's annoying.

I went the bank with my wife last week. The guy was one of the 'computer says no' morons. So we will be going back on Tuesday.

We have a Halloween tree.



We have decided that we will move up to North Wales but neither of us has the time to actually look for somewhere. So yeah maybe I should be looking that up rather than finishi

It was my Birthday the other day, we celebrated by having Nando's for dinner. We didn't go to the movies because there was nothing decent showing! As is tradition my wife baked my birthday cake the next day. It was pretty tasty and super sweet. Today I went to the post office. A couple of people actually asked me about my chair after first saying how 'cool' it looked and also pointing out how they did not mean to offend me. I don't understand how it would be offensive. It was surprising that the first guy I was talking to assumed that I had got my wheelchair free.

Thanks to my wife we'll be going to see Placebo in Birmingham in December!

I'm pretty unaware of stuff. The 25th of September is apparently ataxia awareness day. It always catches me out. To me every *expletive* day is ataxia awareness day. I wake up and either almost fall out of bed or fall out of bed.

ataxia.org.uk

Japanese Marble Soda No Reason!

A relatively low score

I'm lucky. I've stopped breathing. The pretty blonde nurse shouted at me to keep breathing. I tried. It was hard, my heart was determined to tear itself apart. That was the first time I was on the Cardiology ward. Briefly before intensive care.

However, that isn't the topic today. Well it kind of is one thing that has altered how I perceive life. It is fleeting. There are people who have issues of such insignificance. Genuine minutia.

My wife has CRPS. It's not nice. Especially when it gets too much for her. Which it does. Sometimes I envy her because she can hobble around and she can speak clearly. I definitely do not envy the pain. I can't imagine what that's like. When she must lie down all day. All I can do to help is bring her ice packs, water and medicine.

Insignificance is bliss

I skydived. The first time for charity, Ataxia UK, the second time because it was that good. Falling down to the surface where everything is so tiny. Everyone so tiny. "Imagine all the people. Living for today..." I wouldn't do it now I'm married. I probably couldn't get my doctor to clear it anyway.

Do I get depressed? Not really. I was in town recently. "Jesus, has a message for you!" A booming voice. I was not having a stroke. A man with a PA on his back was behind me. "Oh wow, this'll be good" I thought. So I stopped and he caught up "He told me this morning to tell you..." I may be embellishing this dramatic pause for comedy effect, but it's how I remember it. "Jesus loves you." I wondered if Jesus, or rather what this guy believes was Jesus, really referred to himself in the third person when he said something like "Today you will see a cripple. Tell him: Jesus loves you." Why would it matter? Jesus probably wasn't white. He certainly didn't speak English. Obviously he does now. I'm assuming he existed. I'm not religious and at times I've described myself as an Atheist. At the moment I'm agnostic. Religion is minutia. The sort of minutia people kill and die for.

I'd have a few things to say if Jesus called me for a chat...

What a strange post this has been. I've been burning the candle at both ends so this is the best I can come up with! Disappointing? Such is life.
It's hard, though there is always someone who has it harder. - get your mind out of the gutter. Stars, they burn for eons. How many stars died while you read this post? That's how insignificant we humans are. Would we attempt to communicate with ants? Or bees? Or wasps? So how many aliens see us and think "let's not bother." Probably none. It's not a language thing. "If a lion could speak, we couldn't understand him." as Wittgenstein said.

I was approaching that time which all youngsters must. The time when hair starts to sprout in areas you wish it wouldn't. Proof 1 there is no divine creator: Who thought ass hair was a good idea? Seriously?! I'll leave religion out of it for now. But the big three are coming...

Ok I know at least one of the readers of this blog will love this topic. His love of Asbestos surveying is comparable to how the late Jimmy Saville felt about young gi... It's just as perverse and weird and bizarre. He's how I got the job I'm in so I owe him big.

I don't want to bring the industry of asbestos surveying into disrepute (Sarcasm much). Or write anything that would cause problems. I could. It would be funny. Maybe only for me and the nameless individual. Ha, really I'm saying this to tease him. I imagine he is reading every word expecting a bombshell. It's going to happen...

Actually I began my professional vocations while in 6th form and during my first year of Uni, I registered a business - with my brother. It got dissolved after a year though. I preferred sole trading. I started out being a free-lance web developer. Which is still part of what I do in my job -it's web centric. To me it's a little different to 'designing a website'. HTML and CSS are fractional parts of it. It's like calling an Astronaut a deep sea diver because of the helmet.

It bothers me when clients or nameless individuals suggest changing something that I've considered. "Oh I see what you mean, just change it back." ARGH! If I had unlimited disk space I would have a nice history repository. Alas, I don't and so just changing it back is often not as straight forward as pressing an undo button. I guess that's what the client assumes.

Recently I got pretty much finished on a surveyor drawing UI. Oh how boring I hear you cry but no... Give it a chance: From design to completion:

The vision in the design doc I did

An Early touch screen prototype based off of some Canvas Draw

The anonymous one's first effort

A few more tools...

Evolution Not Revolution Notice the penises have gone?

This email amuses me...

A few months later when working on the air testing... I did this.

This gives you some idea of what sort of trivial nonsense I must endure.
No disability issues really other than the obvious. I need to find a better job!
Problem is, I'm lucky to have this and I know it.

My wife said to me the other day that my blog is boring and I need to find one thing and write about it. I've been thinking about that and looking at other blogs. Maybe this is my Niche. Drivel. I'm not looking to do this professionally. It's a hobby. I just don't do things by halves. This is my blog. It's full of drivel. It's a dot com, it has a favicon(the little wheelchair dude above) and it has a logo. Those are things I did because it's bread and butter to me. Not because I have illusions of grandeur. One day I'll make my own unique theme so this blog is unique... The background photo I shot, from Westminster Bridge.

Made in China. Souvenirs

London is the greatest city in the world. It's big, I love the automatic ramps on the buses. Oh how the able sit and stare at the cripple as the ramp extends. I've been to Southbank several times. Waterloo is where the train goes. I hate people too busy to watch where they are going. Emailing on their iPhone. Yes it will hurt you when you hit my beast of a wheelchair. Make an issue of it. I dare you!

A few people stop in front of me. "You have presented your Achilles heel my friend." I have a condition where I can't suddenly change direction. I have momentum. It will hurt you when my footplate strikes and then you will be obliged to apologise. I don't care, you shouldn't have stopped in the vector (I move in relatively straight lines because a three wheel chair would be hard to keep straight so the guy who designed it made a way for the back wheel to lock unless the desired amount of unilateral force is applied).
"Ow you idiot go around!" I stopped and circled him slowly. "A wise guy ehh, in a suit" I thought "...we have time, let's tango." "Excuse me?" He looked down "What? You could have gone around." "Well I'll just turn around because obviously it was my mistake, the sheer intensity of the light shining out your ass. Blinded me." is not what I said. What I said was "Do you have any idea how difficult propelling a wheelchair is?" Ok so to that he had no answer. "Well that was shorter than we wanted" the voice in my head piped up as I rolled on...

Anyway just before our wedding we took a trip to Soho. My wife needed make-up. Soho is trendy, it's full of obnoxious self involved idiots. People stared like we had the plague. The pavements(side walks) are not accessible. Less of an issue for me but my partner has a conventional wheelchair. After the make-up was purchased my wife wanted, well needed, to go to check the antique shops. It was quite a tricky journey mainly in the path of taxis because the streets where often the only option. We'd spent a while in the make-up shop, a nice one, they didn't treat her with the respect she expected so we didn't buy too much. Here's a tip to people who would like tips or more commission. Mainly this is for cab drivers. I'm no less generous because I can't walk. So if you don't add extra charges for folding up my chair or act all weird about needing to get a ramp I'll tip you good. Unless you're an arsehole then you better add extra charges.
We were rolling around the street and some guy out drinking sniggered at me, pointed and jabbed his mate. Apparently mocked me and it upset my wife who could see.

Later on that evening we were in Carnaby Street. Sitting opposite the curiously named La Concepta a restaurant without food. A queue of people appeared, like a herd drive of sheep, they were led up and stopped just outside. We were already leaving and that was the way to the street. "It's formula One" the 'performer' shouted as I passed. I should have stopped and replied "Do you think that's an appropriate thing to call out as a wheelchair user goes past?" But he's a performer. I'd sooner heckle a comedian. "We have to pick our battles. We'll just write about him in a blog in a years time."

Yes the staring is annoying, the questions too and the silly things people say. In the summer of 2012 I cant tell you how many people stopped me on the street to ask "Are you training for the paralympics?" "Why yes, That's literally the only reason they let me out." I didn't say that I often smiled and mumbled fu...ing idiots as I rolled on. Just roll on.

I was in Portsmouth and coming down a bit of a gradient (it's mostly flat here) so a woman was walking the opposite way right in front of me. Now there is a bit of a back-story here. My chair has independent hub brakes. If I use them too harshly I can spin, when I spin 9/10 times I capsize like Jeremy Clarkson in a robin reliant. It hurts, but it's the only issue the chair has.

Going down isn't always the easy part

One time I was in Hampstead Heath with my wife, she was ahead of me, and we were descending after our ascent. It started to rain so the breaks started to make noise and react differently, catching sometimes and screeching other times. I lost control and I was going too fast. I got into a bit of a tank slapper, it'd go to spin left so I'd break right then the opposite until I faced it was inevitable and let it go. I can only imagine what she could hear. By the time she turned around I was on the floor curled on my back like a potato bug.

Back to this little slope in Portsmouth, I've wiped out before in that spot so if some lady wants to play chicken with my wheelchair. I'm not going to risk injuring myself because someone is ignorant. I've already lost momentum because I'm carefully slowing down without tipping. Oh yeah I can tip straight but there are just two issues to this chair. So anyway she moved at the last minute when I had virtually stopped. "You shouldn't use your chair as a weapon dear" she said as she passed. "Ok we can take her pop on one break and bring the ship around to face her." The voice was getting excited. It told me to ask her what she said. Which I did. She repeated the same thing. "It's not a weapon and I don't use it like one." I don't know why I chose that response. It was weak. The voice refused to talk to me for a week after that.

My then fiancée had gone back to the States and was coming back hopefully before the marriage. So securing a venue was a task I had been given.

Kinmel

Bodelwyddan Castle

I found two great venues in North Wales! I also found a company to do all the finishing touches. My wife wanted to do it all herself, but I knew that wasn't a good idea, I told Mandy (of Mantones) that the bride wanted to make it unique and would be telling her what to do as soon as she was in the UK. Mandy and co did an amazing Job at Kinmel Manor where we had the reception. Bodelwyddan Castle was the venue for the Ceremony. Which was going to be decorated suitably for Halloween.

The venues were both super accommodating and very helpful. The facilities and access were good. The staff at the manor were super helpful as was Mandy on the day especially.

Pictures tell a thousand words so...

Photograhy: Liz Byrne & Shaun Fanning




















... Well I have to say... The cake looked amazing, well it all was great. It all fit together. Our invites had black sealing wax with a pumpkin. The favour box was a coffin. It was perfect. Well except for it would have been nice to have more guests. To help with the bride's guests travel expenses so they could have come and to have been able to afford a designer dress for her. Oh and a decent wedding car... A better hairdresser...

The first and last time I'll be a groom.