YesWheely

Well I was just finishing up at primary school (that's elementary) and my voice changed. It wasn't just deeper like everyone else. It got weird. I was no longer able to express myself how I wanted and it got worse. It still does get worse. It's a downward trajectory. That's how progression is. My voice is the biggest difficulty I have. It changes how people perceive me. I've met many people who have it worse. I've discussed it with speech therapists. They say it's not that bad and there are plenty of patients who would like to speak like me.

It matters to me. I like presenting. However, I don't like talking. At school I liked drama. However, I was always 'mumbling'. It's such a problem for me. I can't get over it. If I fall like I did the other week and twist my knee around under me. I sound like a baby dinosaur dying.

To waste one second of your time. That is a robotic arachnoid. Maybe I will randomly attach some short animations. That'll be interesting.

I'll add a 28 second one to the end of this blog entry.

I will probably start to update this blog bi-weekly rather than daily. It's too much on top of everything. I've hardly slept for a fortnight. I was so tired last night I forgot everything I had thought of writing and the writing showed it. Haha.

You probably would like an anecdote to read or something. Well ok then. This is something that comes up a lot. Infact you probably aren't really disabled until someone asks "So what's wrong with you?" Usually they'll be polite and prefix it with "If you don't mind me asking..." 'cause that makes it better. I've had men and women; usually men (? I wasn't even in a gay bar) ask me "does your c**k still work?"

That was one time! It happens to all men! Who told you?!

Back then I had a crap wheelchair. The kind too heavy to self propel. This picture is more recent.

When I was first using a wheelchair. I was out in Liverpool at an opticians. This was the first time someone had seen me and asked. Her response was amazing. I don't know why she said it. I think I must have imagined it. It was so bizarre. She asks. I tell her "Yeah, I don't mind, like, it's 'cause a me genes."(I had a tiny bit of an accent then) to whit her response, now bare in mind my mum is behind holding my wheelchair, "ah hey, so it's your parents fault like." I think I grinned.

I may have tangenitalised - Shakespeare made up words! Back to the voice. It is how people think they are in direct communication with your brain. I've contemplated becoming a mute. It'll solve a lot of misunderstanding. I was on the phone today to a woman about collecting some equipment. "... I'm trying to say yes, you can come 'round." she said "can we come around?" "yes, you can come 'round."
It was an infinite feedback loop. I think her brain melted. I said "ok. bye" and she said "ok. bye"
did they come? Well does the pope sh*t in the woods? ... No.

I feel like this animation needs something like a warning because it's weird. It's not really trying to do anything other than make the audience think wtf! It's not supposed to be funny. Well it's a lead balloon. What is funny about it is that I showed it in the character animation class... It's poignant.