When I was the archetype

Thursday, 5 September 2013

Me and Dave

Technically I'm the middle child of my fathers but since I grew up with my little brother until I was 16 I was the big brother. It was a role that I liked to fill. I had a lot of good times with my brother who is two years younger than I. It's his birthday today. Happy Birthday +David Miller I hope you like your card!!!

+SarahMillie Owen is my big half sister who used to be littler than me but since I'm always sitting down now. universal balance has been restored.

Dave and me

Ever since everything changed following my diagnosis. I became less of a stereotypical big brother. I wasn't the young alpha male. We fought a lot less. We did stuff together less. Well actually the changes were probably just because we grew up. I never thought that I'd only see him a couple times a year in a decade when I was 15 but that's how it is.

I'm a very independent person. That's why I left home when I was 18 despite it being difficult.

When I first had carers after becoming wheelchair bound I would see them as little as possible. I chose to push around the University campus rather than have the helpers push me around once I got my decent wheelchair. For two months I had an NHS chair. Which I was useless at propelling myself in.

When I left university I moved into the flat I'm at now. The bathroom was not suitable for me. It had a bath and the shower was too high. So for 8 months I needed help to take a shower. The help I got was from Adult Social Care who are the underpaid people who rush around abusing (unintentionally) OAPs. Usually people with dementia. Anyway my bathroom was finally finished in Feb 2011 so I got rid of the carers and just hired people less formally to assist with cleaning and stuff.

I used to cook a lot. Unfortunately my co-ordination has made that less possible for me. It got too dangerous for me; all I do is make a huge mess and injure myself. My wife cooks and cleans now. It's difficult for her too. Especially if she is in too much pain.

Good times

My childhood was ok. We had regular holidays, I've been to Istanbul, Bulgaria(for skiing), Various parts of Spain, France, Scotland and a few 'Centre Parks'. I guess I had a middle class upbringing in a working class setting with a Father so proud to have been born working class it's unreal. For most of my rebellious youth I would always keep things from my parents, make my own plans, my life was mine and I would keep control.

My Dad and Rodger - actual dialogue

It would be hard to talk about my dad without him sounding like an alcoholic. Obviously he wasn't. Maybe the lines are blurred now; Since retirement he has replaced his morning coffee with a morning glass of red wine! He's an enigma. Update: He stopped drinking since I wrote that... Back to the story... He had a Senior Art Teacher position at a young offenders institute. It's just that he went the pub everyday. Even on Sundays. He'd always take my brother and me with him on the weekends. We would play darts, pool and other bar-games... Our teachers at school would be weird when we said we had a great weekend down the Pub...

He had the stereotypical scouser appearance, sorted.
Calm down, calm down. My dad and me.

Our mom wasn't the typical housewife she had a career and we had au pairs (cheaper, foreign nannys) so emotionally it was a bit weird. The primary caregiver would often leave after a year or so. So once the emotional bond is built it is fractured. I still keep in touch with Jesus and Gulen. It wasn't bad its just that I'm not as close to my parents as other people I know are. It's not my fault and I don't feel guilty about it. It's psychology.