YesWheely

A relatively low score

I'm lucky. I've stopped breathing. The pretty blonde nurse shouted at me to keep breathing. I tried. It was hard, my heart was determined to tear itself apart. That was the first time I was on the Cardiology ward. Briefly before intensive care.

However, that isn't the topic today. Well it kind of is one thing that has altered how I perceive life. It is fleeting. There are people who have issues of such insignificance. Genuine minutia.

My wife has CRPS. It's not nice. Especially when it gets too much for her. Which it does. Sometimes I envy her because she can hobble around and she can speak clearly. I definitely do not envy the pain. I can't imagine what that's like. When she must lie down all day. All I can do to help is bring her ice packs, water and medicine.

Insignificance is bliss

I skydived. The first time for charity, Ataxia UK, the second time because it was that good. Falling down to the surface where everything is so tiny. Everyone so tiny. "Imagine all the people. Living for today..." I wouldn't do it now I'm married. I probably couldn't get my doctor to clear it anyway.

Do I get depressed? Not really. I was in town recently. "Jesus, has a message for you!" A booming voice. I was not having a stroke. A man with a PA on his back was behind me. "Oh wow, this'll be good" I thought. So I stopped and he caught up "He told me this morning to tell you..." I may be embellishing this dramatic pause for comedy effect, but it's how I remember it. "Jesus loves you." I wondered if Jesus, or rather what this guy believes was Jesus, really referred to himself in the third person when he said something like "Today you will see a cripple. Tell him: Jesus loves you." Why would it matter? Jesus probably wasn't white. He certainly didn't speak English. Obviously he does now. I'm assuming he existed. I'm not religious and at times I've described myself as an Atheist. At the moment I'm agnostic. Religion is minutia. The sort of minutia people kill and die for.

I'd have a few things to say if Jesus called me for a chat...

What a strange post this has been. I've been burning the candle at both ends so this is the best I can come up with! Disappointing? Such is life.
It's hard, though there is always someone who has it harder. - get your mind out of the gutter. Stars, they burn for eons. How many stars died while you read this post? That's how insignificant we humans are. Would we attempt to communicate with ants? Or bees? Or wasps? So how many aliens see us and think "let's not bother." Probably none. It's not a language thing. "If a lion could speak, we couldn't understand him." as Wittgenstein said.